Monday, November 19, 2012

Looking forward

There are a couple of things that I am looking forward to.

Cold weather.
Hot chocolate.

Extreme amounts of cooking.
People coming together eating, enjoying the day. 
I don't know if there is a better holiday for me. I love watching people as they chat and eat. 

The Nativity
The start of the Christmas season. 
I really am looking forward to taking some friends. 

Carol of the Lights
Hot chocolate.
Cold weather.
I love the atmosphere of campus. I love going with everyone and talking and freezing.

I love being with people.
I am excited to spend time with people. 
I am excited for pointless movie nights, card games and late night chats.

Graduate School Applications
I am ready for the future to start.
Hopefully the process isn't too painful.
Hopefully they want me. 

It feels so good to look forward to something. These past couple of months have been filled with new experiences - most of them difficult. I for the first time in such a long time feel hopeful, like something good could happen.

So maybe the saucy scientist is coming back!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

To - do

News! I have a job interview next week! I am super excited about it. I am also super nervous about it. It still surprises me that I am a "grown-up" and am qualified to protect people from radiation poising.  I feel like this job would help get life rolling a little more. So with the interview and being a full-time aunt, there is much to be done this week. I love productivity and so here are some of the things I will attempt to get done this week.

To Do:
Find grown-up, professional, job interview attire
Find college transcript
Read about radiation and remember more about Mass Spectrometry
Practice interview questions
Carve pumpkins
Finish halloween costume
Find external hard drive
Ask for letters of recommondations
Finalize list of graduate schools I will apply to
Write letters to missionaries and send the ones already written
Eat an ice cream cone
Hair cut
Wash car
Fix door handle on  driver side door
Enter receipts in my budget
Upload pictures
Grow a beard

Wish me luck! Happy Tuesday!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Waking up on the wrong side of the day

This morning I feel horrible. I feel cranky, sad, tired, and have a head ache.

I can usually tell how my day will go based on my morning. Some days I wake up and feel that extra spring in my step and just know that the day will be full of good things. I can find happiness in the randomness of life and even laughter in disappointment. Sadly, there are other days, days of droopiness, discomfort, and despondency. Today is one of those days.

It is normal to have these days. I do feel like I am partly to blame for feeling this way. I have neglected a very important part of my daily routine. It still happens but is not given my full attention.

Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts. (Jer. 15:16)

For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.
 And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.
O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so was it with our fathers; for so was it prepared for them, that if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever. (Alma 37:44-46)

These are the promises that God has given to the diligent scripture reader.

My study of the scriptures has been more challenging lately. I feel less connected. It requires so much more energy to satisfy my hunger for communication from God. However, I know that any time I start my day off with passages like these, the day is easier.
I do believe that the words of Christ direct my life for good and can really help us overcome the daily grind or even more pressing matters.

 I will still have days of sadness and irritability, but they will be a little easier to manage with these words.

As I was writing this post, I got a phone call from my grandma. Someone wonderful just passed away. Her and her husband were driving to the temple. My family has known this family for years. She was my nursery leader. She always has a smile on her face. She always tells me how happy she is to see me. Her life has always been a life of service. I am so glad that God knows when its time and that He blesses us with such wonderful people.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Fat, low fat and the media!

This morning while I was eating my morning quesadilla pondering the complexities of life, I had the thought "How do they make food low fat?"

I think about things like this all of the time. So what do I do when I get to work? I use my awesome googling skills.

I was first thinking about scientifically how do they make food low fat, but then this appeared. Apparently there is a lot of tension with nutritionist about the use of low fat foods. Many times a low fat food is high in carbs. My example is Twizzlers.

A low fat candy! I happen to love them, even though some people say they are like plastic. But clearly they are not very nutritious. Low in fat and high in sugar.

According to my "research" (meaning some googling) many people have bought into the low fatness and instead increased their sugar intake making them fat. So many people buy low fat yogurt, sour cream, low fat oreos. Fat tastes good! So when they take it out of products they have to add something to make it taste better - sugar! Obviously this is not all foods, but many of them. This is something I want to look into just because.

My next thought was "How does the media dictate how we perceive food?"

This week its eat more carrots to improve your eye sight! Next week its eat 1 cup of oatmeal and your acne will be cured! Obviously I'm exaggerating.  But seriously, how much can we trust what we hear on TV or in a magazine? I am always a skeptic when it comes to these claims. But how much should we believe? How are we influenced by the media? I feel like we don't do a good job as consumers. We believe what is fed to us. I really wish that "the media" always told the truth AND more importantly I wish that we would look into things instead of always believing them.

This is kind of random. I am not the best writer, but these are my Friday morning thoughts.
I want to hear what y'all think of this.

With love from New Mexico,

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Leaving Jerusalem

In the beginning of the Book of Mormon Lehi and his family are commanded to leave Jerusalem.
They left behind all of their possessions. all of their precious things. took nothing expect the essentials.
They suffered hunger, physical aliments, trials, and family problems.
Yet they gave thanks to God.

"And he also spake unto them concerning the land of promise, which they had obtained—how merciful the Lord had been in warning us that we should flee out of the land of Jerusalem.
For, behold, said he, I have seen a vision, in which I know that Jerusalem is destroyed; and had we remained in Jerusalem we should also have perished."

How often does God in His mercy warn us to leave our "Jerusalem"?
How much faith does it take to leave? 
What do we have to leave behind? 

"Behold, these many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance; yea, and we might have been happy."

When the Lord asks us to leave do we think, Well I might be happy if.....? I fall into this trap too often. I know that what God wants for me is best and leads to happiness, yet I wine and say, "I JUST WANT TO BE UNHAPPY!"

 "Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

How often do I forget Him? How often do I choose something that will lead to unhappiness because of my lack of understanding, or lack of faith or lack of wanting to accept His will?

"And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done.
And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should [_____]?"

How often do I think that what He has asked me is super hard? 

I need to learn that as His daughter, I don't always understand the WHY of something. I need to trust that He will lead me. 

 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
Wherefore, do the things which I have commanded you, saith your Redeemer, even the Son Ahman, who prepareth all things before he taketh you;
For ye are the church of the Firstborn, and he will take you up in a cloud, and appoint every man his portion.
And he that is a faithful and wise steward shall inherit all things. Amen."

 And I am promised that if I listen and act, God will give me the blessings of eternity. How does that even compare to "I might have been happy" ?
On another note - Halloween is coming!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Thoughts and Thinking

Life can be so wonderful.
Life can also be so confusing.
Earlier this week, I felt so overwhelmed by thoughts. It was like I couldn't fit them inside myself. Thoughts of the future, present, past, non-realistic future, etc.
Really, we as humans have a myriad of things to think about.

Somethings that have been on my mind are:
What should I do when I grow up?
How can I change the world just being one person?
Why is my faith so important to me? 
What do adults do? 
What will happen to America in the near future? 
How can I be a better friend?
How can I do everything I need to do?
What is my ten year plan?
How can I be a better sister, daughter and aunt?
How will I ever get married? 
How will I continue my education?
What books will I read?
How will I ever get a job and move to Lubbock?

Should I be an artist?

I have been confused for quite sometime and after last week I felt like my thoughts were crushing me. I felt like I wasn't strong enough to endure them. However, God is great! Lately, the Book of Mormon has been such a large blessing. The only rest I have obtained has been in those pages, those words. The burden is lifted as I read and then comes back as soon as I am done. Faith moves mountains of ______ even if for small moments. 

Yesterday and anteayer were such wonderful days. I felt like I could breathe. Also some wonderful things have happened. Realizations have come. I applied for some jobs in Lubbock. I applied at some interesting places - Pest Control - Furniture Store - Bath & Body Works - and realized that I really need to go back to school for me. I also went to the LAB! It felt so great to be there among friends and fellow scientist. I've also been listening to several scientific lectures, and I rediscovered my love for science. Science fills me with such a special emotion. CURIOUSITY. JOY. DEEP THOUGHT. GIDDINESS. It gives me moments like Velma from ScoobyDoo - Jinkies!
Could I really be happy doing something else? 
So the thoughts of graduate school are resurfacing. AND it thrills me! I felt better about so many things. As of next weekend, I will be living in Lubbock. I will have a poor paying job. I will be poor. BUT I feel good about it! Bring on the happiness.

Thursday, September 13, 2012


So as of late, I have felt little purpose in my life. I have a great family and wonderful friends, but feel a great emptiness.

This probably has something to do with having a very specific purpose, being completely busy and then coming home to a life of unknowns.

I also feel so unsure of who I am as a person. Before my mission and during it, I usually felt confident in knowing what I was doing - THE PLAN FOR THE LIFE OF ALLISON SPENCER- and in who I was. (Obviously this was not 100% true all of the time - I am a woman) Now I am having some sort of identity crisis and am having a period of lack of motivation.
mo·ti·va·tion  (mt-vshn)
a. The act or process of motivating.
b. The state of being motivated.
2. Something that motivates; an inducement or incentive.

motivation [ˌməʊtɪˈveɪʃən]
1. the act or an instance of motivating
2. desire to do; interest or drive
3. incentive or inducement
4. (Psychology) Psychol the process that arouses, sustains and regulates human and animal behaviour
motivational  adj
motivative  adj
 Yeah all of that above is something I lack in large quantities.

So in order to add more excitement to my life, I am making goals. Many people choose to create bucket lists for their lives - but mine is for the next 10 months! I am hoping that this will add more purpose to my day to day life, an added sense of anticipation and some happiness!

Zombie Allison - Thanks Garrett

 Maybe zombies would help motivate me..................

Friday, August 24, 2012

Estoy en casa!

Ok..... So I'm home.

It still is a little weird.

I have been wondering what to write about for some time. I have felt like it should be a great post. But I have decided its just time :)

 So the honest truth is....I miss Hermana Spencer.

I miss feeling like her.
I miss working hard all day long.
I miss my companions.
I miss Spanish.
I miss the people.
I miss the ..... everything.

I have felt like I am having an early - 20's identity crisis. I feel like I haven't gotten much accomplished and I want this to change. My life seems almost at a standstill. I can choose so many ways that I almost choose nothing.

So its time to be Hermana Allison :) ....meaning Hermana Spencer meets non-missionary life = total awesomeness. 

I am still trying to figure out how to do this.... but I know one thing for sure, I have to add more purpose to my life. I have to let Heavenly Father in more.


Wish me luck,

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Meeker Colorado: Population 2,500- May 21

Dear Family and Friends,
I am now writing you from the middle of nowhere. I now live in a town that is small enough that they barely use addresses. They describe the house using terms like this "bottom of 3rd," "the second door down from the stop sign," "up river," and more. The town is super small. It has one grocery store. It has one high school. No real stop lights.  The ward is a pretty large ward for the size of the town. The members are super excited to see us here.
So the week started off last Tuesday with the long transfer drive. They dropped us off in Rifle. There I was able to see some of the elders I have served with before. I also met my new companion Sis. Hatch. She is from Alberta, Canada and is super awesome. We then were able to get free sonic :) and then we made the 50 mile drive to our area. We are living with the Nielsen's. They are very nice couple. She is from Arkansas and he is from here. Bro. Nielsen actually served in Levelland on his mission in Texas :) We then proceeded to look at what the elders had left us. We then made some plans and went to meet some people. That night we met the RS presidency. They are super nice. It was weird to here talk about geneology and other things instead of things concerning Mexico. They were super excited to see us. We taught them a lesson on how to use us as missionaries and how we could work together. The Spirit definately confirmed our wards. We then were able to meet Bro. Murray. He is just about the only other member that speaks spanish. He is super amazing. We went to help him with English class. Sadly no one came. So here in Meeker....there is a cat that lives in the library. Ohh small towns. Then we met the bishop. He is from North Carolina and is super excited to have us. He told us about some families that we could visit.
The rest of the week has been super interesting. There are over 200 less active memembers in the ward. I feel really odd being in an english speaking area. I don't know how to talk to these people the same way. The culture is very different for me and has honestly been hard. But, at the same time, I feel like I need to be here and that this is exactly where Heavenly Father would have me. We have had several adventures here. A very large chunck of our area is the country. We have gotten "lost" with the GPS several times trying to look for houses. They don't always have addresses posted. There are sometimes sheep in the road and frequently cows and horses on the sides. There are chicken walking around town. The area is really beautiful. There are so many green things and small rivers here that really make me like it here. I love how quiet it is outside. Many of the members live on ranches and so this weekend we are going to help brand some cows ---wahoo SERVICE.
Missionary work in Meeker is very different. All of the town knows who the "mormons" are. The less actives are usuallly not excited to see us. There are not really lots of places to knock. There are tons of part member familes. This is going to be the most challenging area yet for sure. We have already learned that we will have to do things differently. We are going to need the members more than ever and we will also need to do lots of service. There are hispanics here. I got really worried about the spanish work this week. It is different teaching with out your companion. I feel like the weight of them is on my shoulders. President and I talked the other day about why exactly I am here in this area. He wants to see it there is enough work for this to be a spanglish area for a while. Many of the concerns of the spanish investigators is that there is no service in spanish. So it will be challenging to get these investigators to church.
Church was great yesterday. They are so excited to have sisters. They have not had sisters in more than 10 years. Our ward mission leader loves sisters. He bore his testimony about how wonderful and how much of a difference sisters make in an area. They are already very pleased with what we are doing. They asked us to bear our testimony yesterday in sacrament meeting. I got super close to crying hard. I hate realizing how soon my time as a missionary will end. I did feel power as the words left my mouth.
This morning we went to Craig, a town 50 miles away for district meeting. It is really weird being so far in the middle of nowhere and then driving to have a meeting. This week is zone conference and we are going to spend the night in Rifle and then go to Grand Junction :).
This week has been a week of growning faith. Sis. Hatch and I are really working hard to help the people here. We are excited to see all of the miracles that will be coming here. We feel like we are supposed to be here and make a difference. I have felt Heavenly Father's assurance so many times. He is here with us. It amazes me sometimes that we get in a car with someone we really don't know. We drive to a town, we have never been to. We then live with complete strangers and try to help people we have never met. The gospel really does change lives. There is no other way that this would work.
Please continue to pray for me. I love you and will write soon!
With love from Meeker,
Hermana Spencer
P.S. I miss speaking spanish.

On the road again........ May 14

Dear Family and Friends.....

So I am not going to lie.......I just lost all of your letter...all of
it. So you will get a brief one.

I am getting transfered. I am training a missionary - she already has
1 transfer, but now you get trained for two transfers. I am also white
washing. And it looks like I am going to a small town called Meeker.
It seems to be in the middle of no where. I am super excited. It does
not have a walmart.

So I have wondered if I have made a difference in this ward. I still
feel like I don't know anyone.

Here is an excert from my letter to president :

"Dear President Maynes,

Can I just tell you that I am super excited about transfers. I really
feel like this is an answer to my prayers. I am super excited to go
work hard. I am of course nervous, but more exicted then nervous.

Yesterday, I was sitting in church and wonder if I was even able to
help this ward this last transfer. Hna. Ruiz has been sick the
majority of the time. I was thinking about this and as the day went on
and we went to see some people, I realized that I have made a
difference. We have several less actives and recent converts preparing
to go to the temple. They are doing more things than they were before.
Also we have completely different investigators than when I first got

One of the investigators is Melissa Ortiz. She is 9. President this is
a prepared little girl. We went by yesterday and she was so excited to
tell us about her reading. She talked about how she felt as she read.
She said, "I just felt something inside here (pointing to her chest)
telling me to do good things." I learn and relearn how the gospel is
simple enough for children and how the Spirit still talks to them. We
gave her a reading assignment and before we were out the door she had
already started and had answered our question. We are going to put
them on date today! I am sad that I will not be here to keep teaching
her, but am so happy to have met her.

President I love being a missionary. I love it more and more each day
and do not want it to end. I have struggled a lot with self doubt and
not knowing if I have done enough. I still struggle with these things,
but I have learned a little bit more how to handle them and also how
to have hope and faith that God uses the little I do for His children.
Going to the baptism in Denver 4th was a great blessing. It felt good
to be back where I knew the people and remember and feel the love that
I have for them. There are several baptisms that will happen there and
I am excited to see how the ward changes. President it helped me so
much to see that real success is loving the people and doing all you
can to help them. I am so excited to go to this new area and just help
it along. I still feel like I don't know how to be a missionary, but I
will do my best. "

So I am super excited. I am still sad that you wont get the email that
I wrote you all. I really do feel like this transfer is an answer to
my prayers. God really knows what I need. He loves us so much.

So I did get to go to the baptism of Zaul in Denver 4th. It was so
great. I felt like I was going back home. People were excited to see
me again as well. Obispo Campos almost gave me a hug he got so
excited. I just love them so much.

Well I will write again soon about our awesome area. So please send
mail to mission office.

With love from Denver,
Hermana Spencer

P.S. Sam can you put all of these letters on my blog? Por favor?

Dear Sis. Lao,

Sis. Ruiz wants you to write her back ...because she wrote you!
Excited to meet you!

Hermana Spencer