Friday, September 21, 2012

Thoughts and Thinking

Life can be so wonderful.
Life can also be so confusing.
Earlier this week, I felt so overwhelmed by thoughts. It was like I couldn't fit them inside myself. Thoughts of the future, present, past, non-realistic future, etc.
Really, we as humans have a myriad of things to think about.

Somethings that have been on my mind are:
What should I do when I grow up?
How can I change the world just being one person?
Why is my faith so important to me? 
What do adults do? 
What will happen to America in the near future? 
How can I be a better friend?
How can I do everything I need to do?
What is my ten year plan?
How can I be a better sister, daughter and aunt?
How will I ever get married? 
How will I continue my education?
What books will I read?
How will I ever get a job and move to Lubbock?

Should I be an artist?

I have been confused for quite sometime and after last week I felt like my thoughts were crushing me. I felt like I wasn't strong enough to endure them. However, God is great! Lately, the Book of Mormon has been such a large blessing. The only rest I have obtained has been in those pages, those words. The burden is lifted as I read and then comes back as soon as I am done. Faith moves mountains of ______ even if for small moments. 

Yesterday and anteayer were such wonderful days. I felt like I could breathe. Also some wonderful things have happened. Realizations have come. I applied for some jobs in Lubbock. I applied at some interesting places - Pest Control - Furniture Store - Bath & Body Works - and realized that I really need to go back to school for me. I also went to the LAB! It felt so great to be there among friends and fellow scientist. I've also been listening to several scientific lectures, and I rediscovered my love for science. Science fills me with such a special emotion. CURIOUSITY. JOY. DEEP THOUGHT. GIDDINESS. It gives me moments like Velma from ScoobyDoo - Jinkies!
Could I really be happy doing something else? 
So the thoughts of graduate school are resurfacing. AND it thrills me! I felt better about so many things. As of next weekend, I will be living in Lubbock. I will have a poor paying job. I will be poor. BUT I feel good about it! Bring on the happiness.

1 comment:

  1. Wait wait...why did we not talk about this yesterday? Your moving here for good? Where did you get a job????