Friday, September 21, 2012

Thoughts and Thinking

Life can be so wonderful.
Life can also be so confusing.
Earlier this week, I felt so overwhelmed by thoughts. It was like I couldn't fit them inside myself. Thoughts of the future, present, past, non-realistic future, etc.
Really, we as humans have a myriad of things to think about.


Somethings that have been on my mind are:
What should I do when I grow up?
How can I change the world just being one person?
Why is my faith so important to me? 
What do adults do? 
What will happen to America in the near future? 
SCIENCE!
How can I be a better friend?
How can I do everything I need to do?
What is my ten year plan?
How can I be a better sister, daughter and aunt?
How will I ever get married? 
How will I continue my education?
What books will I read?
How will I ever get a job and move to Lubbock?
Etc...... 

Should I be an artist?


I have been confused for quite sometime and after last week I felt like my thoughts were crushing me. I felt like I wasn't strong enough to endure them. However, God is great! Lately, the Book of Mormon has been such a large blessing. The only rest I have obtained has been in those pages, those words. The burden is lifted as I read and then comes back as soon as I am done. Faith moves mountains of ______ even if for small moments. 

Yesterday and anteayer were such wonderful days. I felt like I could breathe. Also some wonderful things have happened. Realizations have come. I applied for some jobs in Lubbock. I applied at some interesting places - Pest Control - Furniture Store - Bath & Body Works - and realized that I really need to go back to school for me. I also went to the LAB! It felt so great to be there among friends and fellow scientist. I've also been listening to several scientific lectures, and I rediscovered my love for science. Science fills me with such a special emotion. CURIOUSITY. JOY. DEEP THOUGHT. GIDDINESS. It gives me moments like Velma from ScoobyDoo - Jinkies!
Could I really be happy doing something else? 
So the thoughts of graduate school are resurfacing. AND it thrills me! I felt better about so many things. As of next weekend, I will be living in Lubbock. I will have a poor paying job. I will be poor. BUT I feel good about it! Bring on the happiness.
  


1 comment:

  1. Wait wait...why did we not talk about this yesterday? Your moving here for good? Where did you get a job????

    ReplyDelete