Right now, I feel like I have no roots. I guess you can say I feel torn between so many things. I feel like I don't have any time to really settle into things. I have this feeling that I need to make lots of decisions, big, important decisions. However, I am not sure of what the decisions are. Recently I have felt heavy. This heaviness that doesn't go away.
I have always tried to remain positive. If I have a bad day, I tell myself that I need to be optimistic and stop pitying myself. I have a hard time dealing with those deep down unpleasant feelings. Lately, these type of feelings are being uncovered and I can't seem to bury them.
People have asked me how I am doing. I always smile and say that I am good! Because that is what I usually am.
I am having to learn that its ok not to be good. Its ok to have a bad month. Its ok to tell people that I am actually not ok.
This sounds rather silly that I have yet to learn this, doesn't it?
Life still is full of good moments. Those seconds that make you laugh from deep down inside. Those moments of peace and comfort. Those simple times of feeling like you can get through anything. So while life is hard at the moment, it is also very sweet.
I am glad that hard times are times for learning, crying and good memories.